Did I ever tell you all about my bat encounter? It was probably not one of my finest moments. Picture me, alone in a house. Watching television in a pair of gym shorts and not much else. It was summer. And hot.
I noticed a smudge on the fireplace bricks. Never noticed it before. I went up to wipe it off but as I reached out my hand, it flew away.
My scream broke a decibel level, I’m sure. Last time I heard anything like that come out of my mouth was at the end of Carrie when (SPOILER ALERT) Carrie’s hand reached out of the grave.
My mind came to grips with the situation. I had a bat in the house. I was the only one home. It was up to me to defend the homestead. I needed to gear up.
Protect my feet – cowboy boots. Protect my hands – winter gloves. Wait a minute… didn’t I hear that bats like to nest in hair? On goes the cowboy hat. Now I look like the consummate bat hunter. Gym shorts, cowboy boots, big insulated gloves, bare chested, with a stetson to complete the outfit.
And to capture the flying demon? What else… a tennis racquet. Did I mention that I was alone in the house? Thank goodness. There would be no photographic evidence of any of this.
I stalked the creature around our living room and for a terrifying quarter of an hour it was man against flying mammal. I swung my tennis racquet with wild abandon any time it fluttered in my direction, looking every bit the weekend tennis player that I was. Suddenly, out of frustration, I flung the racquet up in disgust and accidentally clipped the bat which zigged when it should have zagged. It crashed to the floor.
I quickly placed a trash can on top of it and sat back, spent. Now what? I caught a bat. I knew I had only stunned it. So what do I do?
I settled on the humane option. I took the trash can out to the patio, removed the lid and let the bat fly free into the night sky. But I can’t help thinking that while I had a funny story to tell my friends, the bat had a much better tale to tell – the story about a near-naked cowboy tennis player with big hands who in a moment of compassion, let him go.
Michael Ondrasik and Home Video Studio specialize in the preservation of family memories through the digitalization of film, videotapes, audio recordings, photos, negatives, and slides. For more information, call 352-735-8550 or visit our website.